Q:
I attended a one-day workshop you did about a year ago in Choice Theory
and I am really trying to apply what I learned in my relationship with
my husband. I find I do really well for a few days and then I fall back
into my old external control patterns. What can I do?
A:
I don't know about you, but I know that for me, it is unrealistic to
expect that a one-day workshop will totally undo 30-50 years of
external control behavior. Research shows us that it takes 30-90 days
to form a new habit. This is difficult to apply to using choice theory
because there is no consistent application of it. For example, if
someone is attempting to exercise daily, then exercise is done
everyday. One cannot predict when one will be able to practice Choice Theory. I remember when I first learned Choice Theory in 1987, my
children were three and five years-old. I committed to using CT with
them and in my relationship with my husband. I wasn't always
successful. Old habits are difficult to change. What I did do, though,
was to continue to study CT. I became certified and then I continued on
the instructor track. This continuous study is the thing that became
instrumental in helping me internalize these concepts. It helped being
around others who were as committed to the ideas as I was.
This is
actually one of the reasons that I offer coaching services. I wanted to
offer people a way to stay connected to the learning and the consistent
implementation of the ideas in their lives. A coach will help by
providing alternatives to external control behavior. If you are serious
about making a major change in your life, then check out our FREE Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group. This group is for you if you are trying to implement Choice Theory or Inside Out Empowerment concepts in your life.