Free Parenting Advice

Q: My wife and I have a 10 year-old daughter and bedtime is a struggle almost every night. Maria just doesn’t want to go to bed. It is a problem for us because we have to get up early in the morning and like to have some time together alone before going to bed to de-stress. Do you have any suggestions?

                    

A: Think about the ultimate goal. What is it you want for yourselves and for Maria? You already stated that you and your wife want some alone time together in the evening and I’m guessing that you want Maria to get a good night’s sleep so that she is ready to handle whatever her day has in store. You can stop making bedtime such a struggle by suggesting to Maria that she is the one, the only one, who can actually determine when she is tired and needs to go to bed. So you are going to allow her to make that decision on her own. You expect that she will always get up in the morning and do the things that are expected of her during the day---going to school, doing her homework and managing her after school activities. If she has great difficulty getting up in the morning, then you will suggest that perhaps she go to bed earlier the next evening. For your part, explain to Maria that you and your wife need some quiet time in the evening so while you are not telling her when to go to bed, you are asking that she go to her room and settle down with some quiet activity until she gets sleepy and decides to go to sleep. Try this for a while and see how much easier bedtime will be to manage.

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