Parenting: Roots & Wings

I’m sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark card adage that goes something like this: Parents give their children two great gifts--one is roots, the other is wings.

As parents, we pray for our children’s safety, health and happiness. We do everything we know to help make these things happen for them.

At some point in our lives, we developed the principles and values that guide our life decisions. Our parents and/or caregivers certainly had influence over this but not complete determination. Some of us gladly adopted the values of our parents and continue to live by them today. Some of us so completely rejected our parents' values that our decisions are determined by doing the exact opposite of what we believe our parents would do.

Most of us, however, are somewhere in the middle---we have accepted some of our parents' values and rejected others. This is a normal process of development. As parents, though, we really fight that period in our children’s lives when they are attempting to differentiate themselves from us.

Maybe it is because we fear for their safety in their decision-making. Maybe we can see that they are engaging in unhealthy behavior or heading down a life path that will ultimately lead to unhappiness. Whatever the reason, we get scared if our children’s values differ too much from our own.

What can we, as parents, do? Let's talk about that next time.