Relationship Bridge Building

Free goal Setting Teleconference

Goal Setting & Attainment
        April 1, 2008 -- Offered at two times for your convenience:
        3:00 - 4:00 p.m. EST
  8:45 - 9:45 p.m. EST

      

Are you serious about attaining your goals next year? Do you want to do more than make a New Year's Resolution that you forget by the time the Super Bowl is on television? Join me on the free teleconference to learn my time-tested 7-Step process for Goal Attainment. We will do more than set goals --we will discuss a system to implement that will expoentially increase your opportuniy for success. Also, my Goal Attainment System is multi-faceted. You won't just be focusing your attention on your career goals unless you want to. My system has you take a look at all areas of your life so you can accomplish the optimal work/life balance for you. There is nothing to lose but an hour of your time and so much to gain. Let's make next the best year yet!

Free Relationship Teleconference

Relationships from the Inside Out
            March 25, 2008
      8:45 - 9:45 p.m. EST

      

Learn the skills you need to create the relationship you deserve. Learn about the seven deadly relationship habits and how to replace them with loving and caring habits. You don't both have to be on the call. If you are the one who is most dissatisfied with your relationship, you can improve it without the involvement or cooperation of your partner. Let me show you how by registering for this empowering class today.

Free Stress Management Teleconference

Stress Management
        March 18, 2008
       8:45 - 9:45 p.m. EST

      

Feeling stressed? Are you overwhelmed by things in your life? Then you need this teleconference. Learn how to de-stress with Inside Out Empowerment and Choice Theory. Choice Theory states that all behavior is purposeful. Believe it or not, stress is a choice and you can choose not to be stressed! Learn how in this free teleconference.

Free Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group

Q: I attended a one-day workshop you did about a year ago in Choice Theory and I am really trying to apply what I learned in my relationship with my husband. I find I do really well for a few days and then I fall back into my old external control  patterns. What can I do?

A: I don't know about you, but I know that for me, it is unrealistic to expect that a one-day workshop will totally undo 30-50 years of external control behavior. Research shows us that it takes 30-90 days to form a new habit. This is difficult to apply to using choice theory because there is no consistent application of it. For example, if someone is attempting to exercise daily, then exercise is done everyday. One cannot predict when one will be able to practice Choice Theory.   I remember when I first learned Choice Theory in 1987, my children were three and five years-old. I committed to using CT with them and in my relationship with my husband. I wasn't always successful. Old habits are difficult to change. What I did do, though, was to continue to study CT. I became certified and then I continued on the instructor track. This continuous study is the thing that became instrumental in helping me internalize these concepts. It helped being around others who were as committed to the ideas as I was.   

This is actually one of the reasons that I offer coaching services. I wanted to offer people a way to stay connected to the learning and the consistent implementation of the ideas in their lives. A coach will help by providing alternatives to external control behavior. If you are serious about making a major change in your life, then check out our FREE Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group. This group is for you if you are trying to implement Choice Theory or Inside Out Empowerment concepts in your life.

Four Rules for Relationship Conflicts

Disagreements in relationships are inevitable. I have yet to meet a couple who always wanted the same things at the same time in the same way. Being two separate people means that at times, you will want different things, thus creating disagreements. How you manage these disagreements is key.   

There are some gender differences that come into play here. When a women is upset, she tends to keep quiet, believing that if her partner truly loves her, then he will KNOW what is wrong. When men get upset, they tend to withdraw within themselves while they are working out a possible solution. Women are generally ready to talk about problems much sooner than men and will attempt to work things out while their male companion is still working things out in his head. This can cause even further disruption in the relationship.   

One of the things I recommend first is that women need to express their needs and desires to their mate with as few words as possible. Women tend to go on and on about why they feel the way they do when that only tends to confuse the issue for the men.   

Secondly, women need to give men the space they need to retreat into themselves. Trust that they will return when they have a solution. Men need this space. Women who try to engage men prior to them being ready will not like the conversation they get.   

Thirdly, I want to see men honoring their women by listening to them and trying to understand their point of view without feeling the need to defend themselves. When a woman is upset, she typically speaks in absolutes such as, "You are NEVER home. You NEVER listen to me. You NEVER help out around here." She doesn't really mean "never" but she is venting and  needs you to understand the underlying meaning of what she says.   

Finally, I strongly recommend never going to bed angry at your partner. When we sleep on our anger and resentments, they tend to grow, making it even more difficult to start the healing process the next day. 
There is a lot more to working out disagreements in relationships but this is a start. If you want to learn more, check out our Ultimate Couple Connection Home Study Course.

Gender Differences in Relationships

A second consideration is simply that there are major differences in how men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women generally don’t understand men because the men don’t act like women and similarly, men don’t understand women because they don’t act like men. And since a woman has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does each learn about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. But I would say that the majority of people in relationships don’t take the time to learn about these gender differences. It is easier to point a finger and blame the other person for his or her “irrational” behavior.

You can learn more about respecting each other in your relationship by purchasing our Ultimate Couple Connection Home Study Course. You will receive 16 lessons sent to your email address every week packed full of information and advice on how you can improve your most important relationships.

Relationship Compatibility

There are many things to consider when speaking about couples and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract and I believe there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of attraction as that chemical interaction that occurs when two people meet and are attracted. This chemical attraction doesn’t care what the other person’s values are, what is important to him or her, the personality characteristics involved, or what either of you likes to do in your spare time. Compatibility is a key for a successful, healthy relationship. Go to Free Stuff and take the free Assessment to determine your compatibility with your partner.

       

Relationship Advice

My parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited earlier in that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that couples never argue, especially in front of the children. On the surface my parents had a very happy marriage but my father experienced a stereotypical mid-life crisis and suddenly questioned the meaning of “life” and decided marriage was holding him back.

In some ways, this type of training may have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural by-product of relationships. It is virtually impossible for two people to come together and create a life  without some of their ideals, values, opinions or day-to-day activities coming into conflict with each other. The question becomes how does the couple manage this conflict?

Register here for our FREE teleconference called, Relationships from the Inside Out where you will learn how to manage conflict.