Inside Out Empowerment

Book Review: Power vs. Force

Power versus Force:
The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior
by David Hawkins

This is an excellent book that speaks of the difference between power and force. Power is quiet and requires no explanation. Force is coercive and creates an automatic counter force.

This has great applicability for the workplace. Dr. Hawkins has sections in his book devoted to Human Attitudes, Politics, the Marketplace, Sports, the Human Spirit, the Arts, Creativity, Success, Physical Health and Wellness. Standing on the side of truth, justice and all that sustains life is power. This is strength of its own merit. Force represents all that is negative and life destructive.

Whenever you attempt to make someone do something that they don't want to do, you are applying force. We do this through any number of behaviors such as manipulating, blaming, guilting, bribing, complaining, criticizing and coercing. This always creates a counter force. Whenever you attempt to coerce or mislead someone else, you create a measure of resistance. This resistance may not show itself in your presence but it will manifest in the world in some way.

People will undermine your authority, talk behind your back, rally other's support or confront you to your face. You cannot win with force. If you think you have, know that it is only temporary. What goes around comes around. Read the book. Its message is powerful!

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Quote: David Hawkins

“To be a success, it’s necessary to embrace and operate from the principles that produce success, not just imitate the actions of success full people.”

—Dr. David Hawkins

Dr. Hawkins makes this point in his book, Power vs. Force. He is saying that it isn’t enough to copy what successful people do. You really have to become like they are in full integration. Your acting, thinking, emotions and spirituality must be aligned in order for you to enjoy the same level of success. Studying successful people is a great way to get started but understand that there is much more to a person than the simple tasks you can see him or her perform. Get the big picture and go about beginning the transformation.

If you'd like to begin your own transformation, our Goal Attainment Tip Sheet can help.

De-Escalation Skills Tip Sheet

Are you someone who is confronted with angry people in the course of your job? Angry co-workers, angry managers, angry customers, angry clients, angry suppliers, angry subordinates? Want to learn ways to take the wind out their sails and have them communicating more cooperatively?

In this special tip sheet, gain some insight into your own anger and methods for getting it under control before attempting to intervene with someone else expressing anger. Also, learn the five proven techniques to de-escalate an angry person that greatly increase your odds for success.

Your staff will be more confident--they will know how to handle difficult situations. Problems will be solved on the front line without the need to pass “situations” on to supervisors. These skills will help you and your employees handle customers and clients with ease. Customer satisfaction will improve, thus helping you increase sales or referrals. You will stand out above your competition.

If you work with residential clients, you can significantly decrease any physical restraints. Don’t let this information pass you by! There is nothing to lose. If you are not satisfied with the information presented, just send me an email and I’ll return the money you paid and you can keep the report.

Quote: William Glasser

“What happened in the past that was painful has a great deal to do
with what we are today, but revisiting this painful past can contribute
little or nothing to what we need to do now . . .”

—Dr. William Glasser

Going over and over the past or staying stuck in yesterday does not empower anyone. History has already been written. No matter how many times we revisit it, it will not change. Bad things happen to good people. Staying focused on the inequity of it will only frustrate a person.

What's important are the decisions we make today for no one has the right to make them for us. The past may have been awful but each individual is responsible for choices he or she makes today which will in turn, shape the futures we create. Take responsibility and get busy making the choices that will create the future you want.

What do you think about this?

Book Review: Think and Grow Rich!

Think and Grow Rich! The Original Version, Restored and Revised
by Napoleon Hill

This book is a timeless classic that outlines steps to achieve ultimate success and Mr. Cornwell has not lost a single thing from the original version. In addition, he has added a valediction for Dr. Hill, and a tribute section to Dr. Hill filled with contributions by such famous leaders as Thomas Edison and Theodore Roosevelt, among others. With nine appendixes and a huge endnote section, providing detailed explanation and clarity to things referenced in the original version, this revised copy will definitely replace the original version currently on my bookshelf.

Dr. Hill discusses little known, time tested methods for achieving success that are used by all the prominent people today and throughout time. Dr. Hill interviewed such entrepreneurial giants as Henry Ford and Andrew Carnegie, and shared their secrets of success. He tells readers that they will have the power to achieve whatever they set their sites on if they have and employ the following:

1.      Definite Chief Aim
2.      Habit of Saving
3.      Self-Confidence
4.      Imagination
5.      Initiative
6.      Leadership
7.      Enthusiasm
8.      Self-Control
9.      Doing More than Paid For
10.  Pleasing Personality
11.  Accurate Thought
12.  Concentration
13.  Cooperation
14.  Failure
15.  Tolerance
16.  The Golden Rule
17.  The Master Mind

The book has long been considered a classic but only few know of its true power and employ the principles contained therein. Read it and follow its advice and you will be on your way to accomplishing your dreams.

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Q&A: Unhappy Jobs

Question: I applied for this new job, just knowing it was exactly what I wanted to do. It was a new position---one that the company had never filled before. I would like to be able to create it into the position I wanted it to be as long as it was in line with the agency mission and vision. I have been so excited. Well, I’ve been doing the job for about four months now and it’s nothing like what I thought it would be. It is not a fulltime position so I am not able to give it the time I think it requires. It seems like everyone in the company has different expectations of me and this new position. I’m frustrated and don’t think I’ll be able to please everyone. I don’t know what to do.

Answer: First of all, congratulations on getting the job you wanted. Now we have to work at making the reality of the new job match the ideal picture you had in your head when you applied for the job. What are the regulatory requirements of the job? That is where you have to start. What is it that has to be done so your company does not get cited for not fulfilling government requirements? Those are the first things that need to be implemented.

The next question is what is expected from you by your supervisor and management. This is the second area to be focused upon. While you are still living someone else’s dream you need to have clarity on their dream. It is great if your dream and theirs can match up but in the overall scheme of things, management needs to be satisfied or you may not have a position.

Thirdly, you should compile all the desires and wants of the other people in the company, including yourself, about what everyone’s expectations are of the new position. Then you must realistically look at how much time is allotted for you to do the job and what you can realistically expect to accomplish. If there is time after regulatory requirements and management expectations, then you can begin to look at the hopes and dreams you and others have for the position.

If this is not realistic, then you must assemble the major players and notify them of the realities of the position so expectations can be adjusted accordingly. The job is not impossible, but rather it is a matter of defining how the job can be possible. You have to take control of those things over which you have control and learn to accept the things you can’t control.

Book Review: The Artists's Way

by Julia Cameron

The title of this book is deceiving. It seems as if it must only be for artists to read. This couldn’t be further from the truth. The Artist’s Way is about finding the artist in each on of us. We were all born to be creative. It is our divine, spiritual gift but often, throughout our lives, we are discouraged from practicing our art.

This is very much in line with the whole “Living the Dream” concept. When we are being our authentic selves, we are receiving information from the Universal Spirit who provides guidance in our creativity. You will be amazed at the quality of work you can produce when you are operating within your life's purpose.

Ms. Cameron provides a way for us to find our way back to who we truly are. We can rediscover our creativity and our passion. The Artist’s Way is written as a 12-Week Journey of self-discovery. If you are not living your dream and you would like to get an idea of how to get there, try The Artist’s Way and really immerse yourself in each week’s lesson. This is much more than a book. Each week provides exercises and activities to help the reader get stronger.

Here is an overview of what you can expect: Recovering a Sense of Safety, Identity, Power, Integrity, Possibility, Abundance, Connection, Strength, Compassion, Self-Protection, Autonomy and Faith. Each word represents the lesson for the week. It can be a life-changing book if you dare to dream. Don’t let your dream go. Get the book and begin your creative recovery.

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7 Steps to Living the Dream

Living the dream is not just for a few select individuals. Every single one of us is entitled to live our dream. It is possible and we have a right to be happy and satisfied. Here are some steps you can take:

1. You must clearly examine whether or not you are happy and satisfied with your current life’s work and your relationships with the important people in your life. If you are, then congratulations are in order and you need read no further.
   
   
2. If you are not satisfied, then clearly delineate what the problems are and the source of your unhappiness.
   
   
3. Next, you must identify a solution over which you, yourself, are in control. That means you must formulate a solution that doesn’t involve someone else doing something differently. You know what I mean. "I could be happy if my wife would just cook dinner every night". "I would love this job if only the boss would get off of my case." Identify a solution that only you can create without relying on anyone else.
   
   
4. If you are unable to think of a solution that is solely up to you, then daydream about what the perfect job or the perfect relationship would look like. How would you be, what would you have and what would you be doing? Assess your interests, skills and abilities to uncover your life's purpose. What is it you were destined to do?
   
   
5. Once you have your ideal picture in your mind, ask yourself what is stopping you? What would you have to give up to move in the direction of your dream? What obstacles do you face? What do you fear? What would change if you get there?
   
   
6. Now you must formulate a plan that has a reasonable chance of success. I’m not suggesting that you file for divorce or quit your job. What I am saying is come up with a plan that will move you forward in the direction you want to go. You can take small, baby steps as long as you do something each day that will move you along the path of living your dream.
   
   
7. The final step is to develop the strength to actually take the action you planned in Step 6. Making a plan is great but it will never accomplish anything if you don’t take action. Les Brown tells us, “You don’t have to be great to get started; but you have to get started to be great.” Do something.
   

If you are having difficulty with any of these steps, then perhaps coaching would help you. Coaching provides just the right balance of support and encouragement with challenge and accountability. You decide. Do you want to live your dream or someone else’s?

For more information on coaching, check out our packages designed to meet your specific needs by clicking here.

Living the Dream--Yours or Theirs

I know people in my life who when asked how are things going, will reply, “I’m living the dream.” Can you say the same? If you could, what would it mean?

As far back as Sigmund Freud, psychologists have been saying that there are two major areas in a person’s life--love and work. When you are “living the dream,” you will be able to say that you have found satisfying work and are fulfilled in the relationships you share with the important people in your life.

Now, I ask again, “Are you living the dream?” Let’s talk about work first. When you wake up in the morning are you filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation for what your day at work has in store for you or do you have a sense of dread about what lies ahead? Of course, these are two opposite ends of the spectrum and more than likely you fall somewhere in between.

As a parent, I always advised my children to choose a profession they love because they will be spending a lot of their time doing it. I don’t want them to be one of many who hates their job and dreads going to work every day. That is a terrible burden to bear.

So, what can you do if you are one of those people?

Have you discovered your life's purpose? We were all placed here on earth with a variety of gifts that will help us make the world a better place to live. We all have unique skills, interests and abilities that will add to the good of mankind and fulfill our own inner desires, as well. What is your unique, definite purpose?

I believe mine is to help people learn to lead more satisfying lives and to get along better with the important people in them. That’s what I do. I love to do it. I am energized when I do it. And although I generally get paid for the things I do, I love doing them so much, I would do them for free! This is what I wish for everyone in the area of work.

Many of us are living the dream but it is someone else’s dream. Are you working for the "man" without any pay off? What do I mean by a pay off? Why do you get up and go to work everyday? What motivates you? If it is only the paycheck, then you are living someone else’s dream.

Your work should be something that motivates you, gives you pleasure, provides something valuable to others and is in line with your definite purpose. If that doesn’t describe your work, you may want to take some time to reevaluate. You may think you are too old to change careers now or to go out on your own. However, in ten, fifteen or twenty years you are still going to be the same age whether you invest in your own dream or not. So what’s stopping you?

Now, let’s look at your relationships. What is the state of your current relationships with the important people in your life? I suppose I should start with the question: Do you have important people in your life? Hopefully, the answer to that question is yes, but if not, there is help available. You can improve your relationship skills and learn to make new friends and develop those relationships to their fullest. Everyone needs to have human contact in order to survive.

Some of us have companionship but we are unhappy in these relationships. How can you live the dream when you feel miserable around the people who are supposed to be supporting and encouraging you? Getting our relationships in order is a critical task that too many ignore. We look around us and see lots of other people in unhappy or mediocre relationships and we tell ourselves that is just the way it is. No one is truly happy. That is not true.

Creating healthy relationships is a matter of choice. You are not destined to be in a miserable relationship. Do you remember what it was like when you first got together? It was more than chemistry. There was something between you that made you know each other was special. You can regain that feeling.

Most of us never learn healthy relationship skills. We think it is something we are just supposed to know how to do but how good were our teachers? Shouldn’t you learn relationship skills from someone who has strong relationships and who knows how to maintain them?

Tomorrow I am going to give you seven steps to "Living the Dream." In the meantime, why not sign up for our monthly newsletter at the right? Also, please tell me, whose dream are you living and why?

Book Review: Primary Domino Thinking

Primary Domino Thinking: Creating the Life You Want
by Anthony S. Dallmann-Jones, Ph.D.

This is a book that is relatively simple to read but contains some very important information regarding how we actually meet our goals in life. Dr. Dallmann-Jones speaks about the three parts to any deliberate transition in your life: your thoughts about where you want to go; the thoughts, behaviors, emotions and events in between; and the final result.  His contention is that if we are deliberate and mindful about setting that first primary thought, the primary domino thought, then the rest will automatically take care of itself. Once we program our brain to go in a certain direction, it has no choice but to follow our stated intention. Of course, it isn’t just as simple as all that. We must be very clear and deliberate about what we want and ignore anything that is competing for our attention. This would include the naysayers in our lives, the well-intentioned who are trying to counsel us in a different direction, as well as any competing negative thoughts we may be having about ourselves and our ability to accomplish our goals.

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